Heat
by Synvamp
Summary: Zoro x Sanji AU fic - harem :D Zoro thinks he has the cushiest job on the planet until a new blonde concubine appears to ruin all his fun... Warning - language & the beginnings of some serious smex / yaoi! Story is COMPLETE with R rated bits on LJ & AFF
1. Chapter 1

My first AU – harem fic!!! Just starting but if people like it then there will be more to come XD Dedicated to fringeperson, who wanted more harem fics to go with the smexy arts that she saw around the internets.

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Zoro felt the sea breeze lift the edges of his open shirt and appreciated the cool air on his sun-drenched skin. The smell of jasmine wafted in the heat and the lush grass was so comfortable it was hard not to drift off completely. He was sitting in the Sultan's garden, back against the wall and dozing in the sunshine. This had to be the ultimate job. No-one to annoy him and demand his time, he could just rest up while the money came rolling in. Soon he would have enough to leave and hit the seas again. It was only sheer chance that had bought him here. The island he was heading to originally was somewhere to the left-ish… Lucky he hadn't made it there or he'd probably be preserving some bounty head in salt instead of lounging in the desert sun. Lucky!

The only things he had to worry about for the time being were the ladies – he could hear them splashing in the Oasis and giggling, so they were fine – and Luffy. The girls were very easy to handle, they were all here voluntarily so there was no real need to fear escape. Occasionally there was one girl that proved more difficult than others, like Nami who was always getting Zoro in trouble… but the rubber kid was another thing entirely. His father the Sultan owned the Oasis, the palace, the harem… practically the entire town and he wanted his son to grow up to be a respectable hard-headed diplomat. Not really the kind of things that Luffy seemed to take interest in. From what the swordsman could see he was only interested in sea shanties and adventure. The Sultan kept sending the boy into the harem to 'make a man out of him' but somehow he ended up bugging Zoro for bounty hunter stories instead. One day it was going to get the swordsman in trouble, but the kid was so enthusiastic it was hard to say no to him.

The sound of Nami's voice whispering caught his attention. She always shouted so the fact that she was making such an effort not to be heard almost made the swordsman curious. Almost. Instead of investigating, he shifted in the grass so that his tan would stay even. He could deal with anything that those crazy women could come up with when it happened. The Sultan didn't mind Zoro sleeping, which was great. Nami dobbed him in early in his employment, but when the Sultan sent in thieves to try to catch him off guard, his performance has pretty much guaranteed that he'd be employed for as long as he would stick around.

It was only when the few scattered whispers became squeals of delight and horror that Zoro finally accepted that his nap was over and opened his eyes. There was a caravan coming in the main gates and the Sultan was waving escorting some scantily dressed someone down from a camel. Great. Another wife. Hopefully it was just a concubine, there were so many egos to deal with already that it took most of Zoro's short attention span just to ignore it. Hopefully, they would forget that he was here and just lead her in for the guided tour and leave him to his…

"ZORO!"

Damn it.

He got up and ambled over to the gaudy caravan. It had to be a wife. No concubine would have an entourage like this just to bring them from the market. It was a weird concept, the idea of being a voluntary slave for a fixed period, but the girls seemed happy and he was well paid so he really didn't care. Zoro sighed and went to the Sultan's side. The Sultan was tall and dark, a serious man with a head for figures and a forgiving temperament. He also had a sense of humour, probably the only thing keeping him from banishing his son after the antics that the lad was (in)famous for.

"Ah, Zoro. Nice to know that you are never far," the man beamed down at him then quickly switched to his business face. "I have a new concubine for you to take care of, this one is a little different. As you know, I tend to be generous with my ladies when foreign dignitaries come to visit, but apparently I had not accounted for all of their tastes. This should fix that." He nodded as if confirming his own thoughts and grabbed the girl by the hand to present her to Zoro.

The swordsman took a look at the girl for the first time. _Different, how?_ He wondered, as his eyes travelled up long slender legs and arrived abruptly at gorgeous, pale and perfectly defined abs and pectoral muscles. Oh shit.

No way.

He thought he was safe here, no temptations. Just gorgeous half-naked women and sunshine. He thought he wouldn't have to worry about men. They were just too difficult. He always ended up either wanting to kill them or fuck them…

He took a deep breath and lifted his head to see what exactly this new addition had to show off to the royalty that swanned through the palace from time to time. Soft blonde hair, bright blue eyes and sweet pink lips. But more… muscles that looked like they were chiselled out of stone and legs so long that he swore they went on forever. No. No. No! This was his perfect hideaway from temptation! And this guy… Zoro could feel his body starting to ache already…. He was way too tempting.

"Zoro!" The Sultan barked, now displaying his 'busy man about his business' face, "This is Sanji, from now on he will be under your care. He will be housed in separate quarters for obvious reasons but he is free to spend the day with the ladies or as he pleases. Please show him the grounds, I have allocated guards for the rest of the afternoon so the girls will be fine without you." The Sultan took one last look around as if to check that everything was as he had ordered, then he swept off inside, his blue silk robes billowing in the breeze.

Zoro stood, trying not to drool openly. The blonde was staring at the garden, giving the swordsman time to admire him a little longer. He certainly dressed like a concubine, most of his body was completely revealed. Zoro tried to look at this face but his eyes wouldn't co-operate. They kept wandering down, further and further. Sanji's pants were so low slung he could just see a tuft of gold peeking out from the waist band… Fuck. Zoro tried to start a conversation but his mouth wouldn't work. Stupid blonde strumpet! No-one had this effect on him. Why the hell did the hottest man on the planet have to end up in his personal slice of paradise?!

"You, bag-boy," Sanji turned and stared right through Zoro and towards the Oasis over the swordsman's shoulder. "Take my shit, muscle-head. I have some ladies to attend to." Then he turned his perfect body and wiggled his firm ass away to where the ladies were squealing and trying to figure out if they wanted to reveal themselves more or hide in light of their new companion.

Zoro was going to grab the man and force him to come on the stupid tour of the palace but by the time he had realised he was trying to say something, Sanji was already rubbing sun tan lotion into Nami's back. Well, fuck him then! He could find his own way around! And when he got lost – as of course he would – then he would only have himself to blame. The swordsman grabbed the bags and dragged them up to the suite that had been prepared. What the hell was in these things anyway? Lead weights!?

Zoro muttered and grumbled to himself as he hefted the bags up to the mezzanine floor. Arrogant, rude, conceited… At least the anger helped with the uh… 'symptoms' he had been experiencing before Sanji opened that hot wet looking mouth. If he had behaved as well as he looked then Zoro would have been in trouble. As it was, he could manage the asshole.

He hoped.


	2. Chapter 2

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Zoro lay in the grass and snoozed. The sound of Luffy babbling was quite soothing if he ignored the words. The boy's excitement was never ending, anything and everything was a great mystery to be solved or a grand adventure to be had. So far this morning he had saved the kid from being stung by a hive of bees (in search of honey), being bitten by a deadly spider (it looked cool) and drowning in the Oasis in three inches of water (fishing, apparently).

Zoro was now taking a nap in the shade of a palm tree in order to get his strength back for what was guaranteed to be an afternoon of similar activities. He had managed to keep the blonde at the back of his mind. Aside from the tantalising glimpses of flesh that he couldn't avoid – damn harem outfits! – he had kept his eyes and hands to himself. Sanji had made it easier on him. He'd been so busy fawning over the ladies that he'd barely registered the swordsman at all after their first meeting. What he was doing in a harem when he was obviously a womaniser was anyone's guess. Did he even know what he was here for? Zoro sniggered as he thought of the sweaty, fat noblemen that came to visit. That would be quite a surprise to our refined lady-killer…

"What are you laughing at Zoro?" Luffy asked, pushing up Zoro's eyelids and peering intently. Zoro came back to reality to find the kid an inch from his face.

"Damn it Luffy, what?"

"You were laughing! I want to know the joke!" Luffy enthused, pushing back his straw hat and waving his arms like mad.

"Well….ah…" How to explain…

"ZORO!"

Saved.

"Uh, Luffy that's your dad, we'd better go." Zoro got up quickly and strode off leaving the puddle of disappointment behind him.

"But I wanna know…"

The Sultan was in good form today; he wore scarlet from head to toe and was beaming with joy. Zoro was a bit worried, there weren't many things that got the Sultan this excited and most of them involved effort.

"Zoro, glad to see you are always close!" Not that it mattered, the girls shrieked so loudly he could be in another country and still hear them. "Today I have a special mission for you, I've organised some guards to take care of the ladies…" Here goes. Anything but… "and I want you to take Luffy to see someone." The Sultan's black eyes twinkled with mischief. He leaned down to speak in confidence, "I think I have an idea. But no more about it… Luffy! Good to see you, boy! I have someone that I want you to meet! Come along!" The Sultan waved them along towards the Palace, Luffy looking bemused and Zoro confused.

As they were dragged up the staircase, Zoro started to get a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach. This was very close to… No. He breathed a sigh of relief; they were going in the opposite direction; in fact they were practically on the other side of the Palace.

The Sultan stopped outside an eerily familiar door and put one large hand on Zoro's shoulder. "You stay here and keep an eye out for anyone. Let them have some privacy, ok?" He winked excessively and then took his son by the hand. Zoro finally cottoned on; the Sultan had some new girl to try on Luffy. Every now and then he got some exotic woman from a far-flung island to see if she could kindle Luffy's passion. So far nothing had worked. Not even the Amazon women… although the swordsman figured they had to be the closest.

"Son, I'm sorry that I didn't realise before. Here is someone special that I'd like you to meet, he should be ready by now…" He? No. There's no way that they could be on the mezzanine whe.. The Sultan rapped on the door once and then before Zoro had the chance to look away, the door was thrown open.

Framed, in perfect silhouette was the most gorgeous body Zoro had ever seen. Slowly, as gauze curtains floated away on the breeze, the figure stepped forwards into the light. His body was swathed with soft cloth that draped and clung to his every curve and line. His muscles were outlined in perfect symmetry, hell he might as well be naked for all the thing left to the imagination. The blonde strode effortlessly forward, leaving steadily more layers of see-through fabric floating behind him. By the time he reached the door, only a few soft bolts around his waist remained and they were pretty much just strands woven together.

Zoro coughed and put his head down so quick he nearly cracked his chin on his chest. Shit. Why did I have to see that?!

While Zoro was struggling to make his body obey him, the Sultan was giving Luffy a short speech about being careful and always having respect for people. Zoro could see the boy nodding profusely from the very corner of his eye. By the time the swordsman had regained his composure, the door had already been closed and he was standing alone on the landing outside Sanji's room in a cloud of perfume and regret.

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Zoro stood on the landing and contemplated life, the universe and everything. On the one hand, he'd had the luck to glimpse Sanji in all his unearthly glory. On the other hand, now he had the image burned into his retinae for all prosperity and every time he closed his eyes he got a hard-on.

Plus there was the added problem that he was now expected to stand outside this door and listen to his best friend get deflowered by the man – no, the body – of his dreams. Great. The swordsman stood awkwardly for a few minutes then decided that there was no point being grumpy and uncomfortable. He sat cross legged outside the door and rested his swords beside him, closed his eyes and tried to ignore the whoops of pleasure issuing from the room behind him.

What was Sanji even doing? No-one's first time was that good! How had he managed to get Luffy going? Not that he wanted to know… but how?! Suddenly his mind was taken over by possibilities… Maybe Sanji had been trained from birth to give pleasure to men and had learnt all of the arts of seduction and titillation. Maybe he'd just thrown himself wantonly on the bed and begged Luffy to relieve his aching desires. Maybe he was just tickling the kid. He could only hope.

The sound of giggling coming up the corridor was a welcome distraction, until he realised who it was. Nami strode around the corner, arm in arm with first-wife Robin. A trio of nervous looking guards bought up the rear. Robin always had an afternoon stroll, but this was the first time that Zoro had seen her with Nami. If the evil red-head got her claws into the most powerful woman in the Palace then there would be no end to the trouble she could cause. This day just kept getting better.

"Zoro-kun, I noticed my liege relieved you of your duties. Have you come to check on our new delight?" Robin's eyes twinkled with mischief. The swordsman scrambled to his feet and tried not to scowl at the thought that he might actually care how Sanji was doing.

"I'm just minding Luffy, ok. Idiot can't even get laid on his own." He grumbled. Nami took in the door and Zoro and Robin's comments, then squealed. A dozen hands sprouted over her surprised face and clamped her mouth shut.

"Shhh… Nami-kun, we don't wish to disturb them," Robin whispered.

Nami nodded and was hastily released. "Thanks Robin… I just didn't realise. Do you really think they'll do it?!" She was practically crawling the walls with excitement.

"Only time will tell." Robin produced a cryptic smile.

"But you can tell! Why don't you just take a little look and tell us what is happening..?" Nami fluttered her eyelashes at the taller woman, who beamed down at her and swept off along the corridor. At least she had some sense then.

Zoro resigned himself to his fate and sat back down, the noises in the room had gotten steadily more raucous. Now it sounded like Luffy was riding a rampaging bull through a china shop. More mental images Zoro didn't need. The swordsman concentrated on blocking out all noise behind him. As long as he had his back to the door and no-one could get in or out, it didn't matter what Luffy and his damn strumpet got up to. He didn't care.

Damn it.

He focussed on the sounds of the birds in the garden, the sweet smell of jasmine and perfume hanging in the air…

"ZORO!!!"

Luffy's voice.

In a heartbeat Zoro was through the door, he drew his swords mid air and landed ready and eager to shed blood. The sight that greeted him was not quite the masked assassins that he had been expecting.

A large ball of flesh and rubbery limbs was rolling around on the floor, knocking over 5th century vases and generally causing chaos. The swordsman didn't know what to do. Were they fighting or was this the way that Luffy… No. That is so wrong. Zoro caught a fleeting glimpse of washboard abs and decided – belatedly – that the polite thing would be to turn away.

"Luffy!" He shouted, by way of acknowledgement and warning.

The mass of limbs careened in a different direction and Zoro was bowled over. His ass hit the floor and he was swept up in an assortment of body parts and hurled across the room. By the time they had finally stopped, Zoro had a face full of gauzy cloth. That must mean his head was in Sanji's…

"Zoro! You came!" Luffy enthused. Not quite yet, but at this rate… Zoro shifted his weight and tried to get away from the heady scent of perfume mixed with Sanji's crotch. His body was suddenly yanked away and he found himself on his feet with an eager boy grinning over at him. "Zoro! You have to see this! Sanji is amazing! He's going to be my friend!!!"

"No, I told you I'm not." Sanji grumbled and swept a few loose strands of gold from his eyes as he stood up and rearranged what could only be described as a loincloth made of purple haze.

"He's going to take me to sea and cook for me! He's a cook, Zoro and he can do this!" Luffy bent over, grabbed one of his own ankles, then stood up and hoisted his rubbery leg over his own shoulder. "Show him Sanji!!!"

The blonde had retreated to the window and was looking out over the gardens with longing. He smiled at the boy and then walked over to him and slowly, deliberately raising one smooth gorgeous leg into the air and hoisting it impossibly high before resting it on Luffy's other shoulder.

"Not my shoulder!" Luffy giggled, completely oblivious to Sanji's sultry bedroom eyes, which were driving Zoro completely mad. "Isn't he great!? He's teaching me how to wrestle!!!"

Well at least that explained that. Sanji lowered his leg slowly and looked at Zoro properly for the first time. His clear blue eyes swept across the swordsman's bare chest and lingered on his three swords.

"No, I'm not. It's just hard to.." Sanji started, his words cut off when Luffy launched himself at the blonde again. Zoro side-stepped and they swept past him. Now that he wasn't afraid to look, he was quite impressed with the blonde's prowess. Not that he'd admit it. The guy was holding his own against Luffy… Despite the boy's youth and innocence, he was one of the strongest people Zoro had ever met. And Sanji was half-naked and pinning the wriggling boy to the floor. It was making Zoro really horny in all the wrong ways. He turned to go back to his post outside,

"Zoro! You should stay! I want you and Sanji to be friends. Come and wrestle with us."

Oh no. No. That was not going to work.

"Uh, the Sultan said that I should…" He mumbled, backing towards the door.

"Come on Zoro…" Luffy gazed with wide innocent eyes, "He's going to come with us to sea and cook for us and teach us to wrestle. It'll be so cool!"

"I told you, I'm not!" Sanji snapped. Luffy ignored him.

"I… uh… wouldn't want to hurt him. I have to take my work seriously." Zoro avoided looking at either of them, suddenly all he could see was the bare sole of a foot hovering millimetres from his nose. He stepped back - wouldn't do to hurt the merchandise – and waited for Luffy to dismiss him.

Sanji took one step closer, his foot wriggling under Zoro's chin and putting just enough pressure on his windpipe to make it hard to breathe.

"WHAT DID YOU SAY?" Hissed the blonde.

"Yay! You're going to wrestle after all!!!" Luffy clapped in delight.

"No I'm not!" The two angry men shouted in unison.

While Luffy was rolling on the floor laughing, Zoro took his chance to escape. He slammed the door shut behind him and slid slowly down the door in a crumpled heap, his body quivering with a hunger that burned like fire in the places where Sanji's body had pressed against him.

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	3. Chapter 3

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Sunny day followed sunny day, the sweet scent of roses replaced the heady jasmine and the sun set later every night. The dying light of evening lit the Palace in rose, but during the day it blazed on the hilltop in bright white. The sand reflected the heat and made the air shimmer. In short, it was perfect weather to do nothing whilst wearing very little and the ladies were not going to miss it for the world. This afternoon they were swimming – again – which meant that Sanji had to be close by. He was never far when the ladies were in more than their usual state of undress.

Zoro wandered over to where the girls were sunbaking. Robin was being fanned by a dozen palm fronds, conveniently powered by hands sprouting from the ground at the foot of her sun bed. Nami was next to her, enjoying the breeze and bossing around the other girls like she ran the place. Already. Vivi was swimming, Perona was terrifying a new guard… Sanji was floating a foot off the ground, carrying a tray of ridiculously delicate teacups.

Zoro had been observing him since he discovered the cook's hidden talents. Just keeping an eye out to try to get to know a bit more about the elusive man. Even though they had only exchanged half a dozen words, the blonde was playing on his mind. He spent most of his time fawning over the ladies, when he wasn't attending to the Sultan and his never ending stream of guests. Sometimes he went to see Luffy; sometimes he just read a book. His personal habits were also noted: he smoked, he loved food and he always, always changed at least twice a day. Outfits for dinner, outfits for walking, outfits for swimming… It was just ridiculous.

The only reason he could even have so many clothes in one room was because every outfit would fit in Zoro's closed palm. The swordsman sighed as he was besieged with mental images that were entirely unnecessary. Damn it.

Sanji was currently in light blue satin pants and jewellery. Nothing else. His body was starting to get a sun-kissed glow but his face was still fair and his hair shone golden in the summer sun. It was so distracting! He looked so feminine in the soft fabric but Zoro had felt his strength. He had felt the willpower behind that elegant leg and he was intrigued. It made the blonde even more alluring. He wasn't a delicate boy; he was a man with red-hot blood and a quick temper. Even if he was an asshole, that was pretty sexy.

The cook hovered like a bee gathering nectar, distributing the tea to as many girls as he could reach. He looked the complete opposite of violent. He had stars in his eyes and was practically foaming at the mouth. The girls didn't mind him though; Nami in particular seemed to take very well to his fawning.

"Sanji," Zoro said, hoping to distract the cook before he got caught up in the next elaborate display of devotion. The girls all stopped what they were doing and turned.

"Zoro-kun!" "It's been so long since you came to talk to us!" "Rub my back, Zoro!" "Swordsman-san!" "Show me that move you used on the burglars!!!" "Come and talk to me!" Thirty scantily clad women all jumped up and ran at Zoro with terrifying determination.

The swordsman was frozen to the spot. It all seemed to be happening in slow motion… like he knew what was going to hit him but he was powerless to stop it. They slammed into him like a warm wave of destruction and hung off him in every direction.

Damn it again.

He peered at Robin through the cloud of oestrogen begging her silently to intervene.

"Come on now girls, give swordsman-san some space," she chuckled.

The barrier of soft flesh sighed collectively and parted. Zoro stepped back and belatedly waved defensive arms in the direction of the retreating mob.

"Sanji." The swordsman repeated, "I need to have a word with you."

The cook raised an eyebrow, put down his tray and addressed the girls, "Ladies, I must bid you adieu but I will be back soon." He waved them a fond farewell, walking backwards and blowing kisses, then finally turned and strolled over to Zoro.

They had only gotten a few steps when Sanji broke the silence, "So you get bored peering through the bushes and decide to come and annoy me in person?"

Zoro stole a glance at the cook, an unreadable smile graced his lips.

"You know I'm paid to guard you, yeah?" The swordsman replied. Sanji had noticed. Shit. Seems like he was getting careless from living soft. Might be time to move on…

The cook stopped walking and lit a cigarette, then looked up into the clear blue sky. Finally he returned his gaze to Zoro, who stared at him blankly.

"Ok, then. You want to talk? Then talk," the blonde blew smoke rings and flicked his hair out of his eyes. Zoro noticed the strong line of his jaw and the fine lines of his bone structure. It helped to distract him from the whole perfect-half-naked-and-within-reach thing. One long lashed blue eye was peering at him curiously. That was right, he was meant to be talking.

"Thanks for teaching Luffy to wrestle; not sure it's what his father had in mind though." Zoro grinned. It seemed Luffy was destined to be a virgin for a little bit longer after all.

Sanji scoffed and puffed in equal proportions. "I told you I wasn't, asshole. It's just that Luffy seems a bit, well…"

Zoro stared at him and offered no assistance. This close he could smell exotic spice wafting from the cook's soft blonde hair. He could see the shape of his legs under the flimsy pants and those cheeky curls of gold peeking out were making the blood rush from the swordsman's head.

Sanji blew a frustrated stream of smoke in the air and finished his sentence, "…he's just like a kid. He just thought I was wrestling with him." The blonde sighed. Zoro laughed. So that was what had happened… oh Luffy! "Shut up already!" Sanji snapped, "I'll get him eventually, don't you worry. His is gay, isn't he?" Zoro shrugged, Luffy was Luffy. It was hard to put him in a category.

The blonde waved a dismissive hand and continued, "Doesn't matter. I _always_ get my man." He smiled seductively and ran one hand down his own rippling abs, hooking his finger into his waistband and pulling it even lower. Zoro tried to look away but he found his eyes had defected from the rest of his body. Sanji smirked.

"So, what did you really drag me out into the bushes on my own for, Harem Master? All the look-but-don't-touch starting to wear you down or do you want me to show you why I don't need your fucking protection?" Sanji took two steps forward and before Zoro could register it, the cook was leaning on his chest and looking deep into his eyes. He produced a breathy whisper that sent shivers down Zoro's spine, "What's your problem, Marimo?"

Don't react. Don't grab him. Don't knock his long legs out from under him and pin him to the ground. Zoro took a calming breath and thought about returning to the sea with enough sake money for months.

"Umm… just be careful," the swordsman said. Sanji glared at him and he could feel the muscles in the blonde's thigh twitch through the thin silk. No, that wasn't it. What the hell was he trying to say? "The Sultan may be annoyed if he finds you fawning over his wives like that…" Zoro could feel his face slowly turning red as Sanji's warmth suffused his body. His mind was telling him to move away, but his feet were rooted to the spot.

"Well, maybe…" Sanji whispered, moving his body even closer and running one finger along the ridge of Zoro's collarbone, "You don't want anyone to do what you can't, Mr. Compensation."

"What?" Zoro blinked.

"Well it doesn't take a genius to figure it out. Running a harem… Three swords... Missing something, perhaps?" Sanji raised one curly, knowing eyebrow.

Missing something? _What?_ Zoro took advantage of the distraction of being even more confused and stepped back, away from the intoxicating cloud of hormones and scent. Sanji was standing there grinning at him.

"Oh well," the blonde laughed, "Don't you worry about me. I can take care of myself… and don't forget it." He flicked his cigarette over his shoulder and waved nonchalantly, then wiggled his perfect ass back in the direction of the ladies.

Zoro wasn't sure what had just happened, but his body was telling him – very loudly – that he liked it.

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The warm air was stifling as Zoro performed yet another set of crunches and then raised his protesting body into a handstand to do push ups. The aching of his arms and stomach was reassuring and familiar, comforting like an old friend. The sensations usually helped him to clear his head but today there would be no rest for the wicked.

Missing something?

Running a harem?

Three swords?

Mr. Compensation?!

He wasn't short; he was at least as tall as that smug bastard, so it wasn't that. There were some people who seemed to think that a large sword indicated a deficiency in other areas, but what did that have to do with being a Harem Master? Most men who ran harems didn't even have a cock so it seemed a bit rich to g…

Oh.

Zoro let his body down slowly and sighed heavily into the lawn.

Sanji thought he was a eunuch.

Pretty obvious really, when he thought about it. No wonder he had been so smug about Zoro's lecture. If only the poor man knew… He certainly wouldn't have been pressing himself up against the swordsman and running his damn chef's fingers all over him. Very dangerous.

He probably thought that he was upsetting Zoro. Far from it. Even though his touch lingered in ways that were going to make it hard for the swordsman to sleep, Zoro had no issue with Sanji mauling him whenever he liked. He may not be allowed to fraternise with the concubines, but he also wasn't allowed to hurt them. If Sanji put him in a position where he had no choice… well, what else could he do?

Zoro grinned. What would Sanji think if he knew the things that Zoro had planned for him? He'd probably run a mile. On reflection, it may not be so bad that Sanji had got the wrong idea. It meant that it was unlikely that the cook would try anything beyond groping him a little and trying to throw him off balance.

The swordsman was enjoying the lazy lifestyle at the Palace for the time being and he didn't want to blow it. Certainly not for a fair-weather-fuck like Sanji. He was gorgeous but pretty shallow from what Zoro could observe. He must have his own agenda but his love of women and his foul mouth were written on his sleeve and they didn't really spell relationship material.

Relationship material? He really had been here too long. Zoro resolved to get laid as soon as possible. He had found it more difficult to keep his lust under control than he'd expected. He didn't doubt his willpower but his body did seem to have a mind of its own whenever Sanji was around. The cook was so slender and toned and always right fucking there in his face! Chiselled perfection. Even with his iron will, there was a small danger that if Sanji tried to have his way with him, he wouldn't resist at all. He was fine with this level but if Sanji got serious, he'd probably be in trouble.

Or he could just teach the baka-cook a lesson…

He was so arrogant and mouthy, he was just _begging_ for a fight. He might be strong but he couldn't be _that_ strong. Zoro smirked. He would love to see the cook's face when he ground it into the dirt. It was far to tempting to prove his manhood in a way that Sanji couldn't deny. The blonde probably wouldn't mind, he was a concubine after all. Zoro had to be better looking than the men that Sanji would be 'entertaining' in the Palace... The way he fought and his wild eyes said he was the type of man who would only do what suited him. What would make him want to do _that?_ He'd wondered about the girls in that way before but none of them were as headstrong as Sanji… as raw.

Maybe he just liked it that much. His eyes were always inviting, even when he was spitting with rage. His body was so flexible and toned that it would make a night with him a guaranteed ride of a lifetime. The way that Sanji's eyes had burned when he said he would get Luffy no matter what… Zoro mopped up his nosebleed and marched out of the bushes, resolving to go and find the rubber boy and bash his idiot head.

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The next time Zoro saw the cook, he was making good on his oath; chatting up Luffy like his life depended on it. The girls were giggling and encouraging him as best they could. Pretty much all of them except Robin had been sent to Luffy's room at one time or another to try their charms on him. So far he remained uncorrupted, wild and childish and completely free.

"You're tickling me Sanji!" Luffy giggled and tackled the cook to the ground. They both proceeded to roll in the grass much to the delight of all the watching girls. Finally, after much shenanigans and goings on, Sanji ended up sitting on Luffy, legs spread. He earned himself a round of applause from the crowd for this achievement and rose to make a bow.

"Saaaaaannjiiiiiiii…" Luffy grumbled, "I'm hungry!!!"

"I'm not meant to cook for you Luffy, your father said that I was ruining your appetite." Sanji smiled indulgently down at the boy. He had a certain way with people, that was for sure.

"But Saaaanjjiiiii… your food is so much better!" Huge brown eyes completed the plea. Sanji sighed and called the guards over.

"Please bring a side of beef, oil, kitchen knives, trestles, table cloths, some bowls and a cutting board. Oh, and light the western outdoor barbeque." He issued orders with ease and sighed as Robin came over laughing.

"I thought that you weren't cooking for Luffy-sama anymore." The cook fawned and apologised helplessly.

In a matter of minutes, Sanji was serving up razor thin sliced of cooked meat and fresh garden salad. The swordsman retreated to one of his favourite afternoon resting spots and settled down to meditate for a few hours. He was surprised when he heard someone rustling through the grass only a few minutes later.

He opened one lazy eye and then blinked a few times. Nope, it was still Sanji. He was striding over determinedly holding a plate.

Sanji handed the plate to Zoro, his expression clouded.

"Here. I thought you might want something."

Zoro was about to protest when his stomach growled loudly, goading him for skipping breakfast. The smell wafting up from the beef was incredible, some kind of spices Zoro had never seen before.

"Just take it." Sanji grinned. He shoved the plate into Zoro's hands and then stood over him expectantly.

"What?"

"Try it!" Sanji rolled his eyes.

The swordsman took a mouthful and grunted in appreciation. Sanji looked on horrified as the entire contents of his plate disappeared in a heartbeat.

"You're as bad as Luffy!" He exclaimed.

"You prefer me to spit it out?" Zoro challenged. The cook glared at him but as he took Zoro's empty plate his expression softened.

"I guess it is nice to see you enjoying something for a change. You're a moody bastard, you know that?" Sanji looked down at him with a mixture of confidence and cheek. Zoro was temporarily overwhelmed by the urge to put the cook over his knee and punish him for being such a tease. Somehow he managed to get out a reasonable reply,

"There are things I enjoy." Zoro rolled lustful eyes over Sanji's half naked body. For the minute he was wearing a see-through vest of blue and gold and red silk fisherman's pants, slung low as always.

A smirk pulled at the corner of Sanji's lips but he continued, "The ladies really like your company – Kami knows why – so you should come and see us more often," The cook leaned forwards and brushed his lips gently over Zoro's ear, "you must get lonely out here on your own. Don't make me come and get you… There are so many things that I could do to you and nothing you could do to stop me…" Sanji's hands explored his chest and his hot breath was on Zoro's lips. "I see you watching me, Zoro…" The cook whispered, he let one sharp fingernail trail down to Zoro's waistband as he pressed his body against him.

Hand-stay-stay-just-a-minute-longer-don't-just-hold-it-one-more…

Something inside Zoro broke. In one fluid motion, he pinned Sanji's wrists behind his back and pulled him close, forcing him to look the swordsman in the eye.

"_Stop."_ He said, low and clear.

Damn! He had almost gone! Zoro hurriedly dropped Sanji wrists but the man didn't move a muscle. He just stood, staring into Zoro's eyes, so close that the swordsman could almost taste his lips.

Sanji leaned just a centimetre further forwards and his soft fringe brushed along Zoro's cheek. His breath was warm on Zoro's neck and he whispered a single word, _"Why?"_

Zoro blinked as the haze of Sanji's hair, his touch and his near-naked flesh cleared. Sanji grinned. Then the blonde ran his fingers up Zoro's chest and walked away; his touch still lingering long after his wicked smile had gone.

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	4. Chapter 4

This will be the last chapter I can post on fan fiction net! So sad, I know. I'm just too naughty for a lovely wholesome place like this it seems ;D I have even had to take just a line or two from this chapter as it was too raunchy. (You see, according to the rules I'm not allowed to post any 'adults only' or explicit content on this site and I do *try* to be a good girl) The story will be posted in full on Live Journal and Adult Fan Fiction, so come and look for me (synvamp) if you want to know how it ends! *hugs* SYN

Warning: this chapter is rated very naughty! Swearing, violence and yaoi.

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The garden was filled with bees and birds. Hummingbirds floated, drinking the nectar of the many flowers. Brilliant parrots came for the water of the Oasis and the ripe, sweet figs that dripped from the trees. The rivers the birds relied on during the year dried up in the baking summer sun, so just like the merchants who plied their trade along the coast, they came to where the air was sweet and flowers bloomed all year round.

Sanji loved the sun. It suited his skin, it made his hair practically luminescent and it brought out the best in everything, especially women. Plus it gave him an excuse to wear even less than normal. In the last few days he had found it harder and harder to concentrate on his daily routines: gathering ingredients, tending to the ladies and entertaining the Sultan's guests. Despite the sun and the glorious surroundings he found his mind wandering to, of all the ridiculous topics, Zoro. He had felt the swordsman's eyes on him. He knew why the bastard was looking even if he denied it. Sanji was a professional, after all. Not that he'd had any luck with Luffy... a fact that Zoro loved to remind him of at every opportunity.

The swordsman thought he was so hot with his three swords and cool-as-shit attitude. He thought he could tell the cook who to talk to and what to do. He thought he could just sit back and Sanji would be a good little boy and play with everyone nice. What an idiot. He had no idea what was happening most of the time anyway, he was asleep! Sanji could hear him snoring half the time so he wasn't exactly stealthy. Even if he was strong… his movements were predictable. Plus, the way he froze up when Luffy asked him to join in their wrestling session was priceless. He had some issues, that was for sure.

His eyes lingered on the swordsman. Zoro was standing under a palm tree training - again. His muscles glistened with sweat as he punished his powerful body. Anyone else would wait until the heat of midday had passed, but not Zoro.

He had become the cook's favourite hobby. The girls were lovely but he couldn't always be with them and teasing Zoro seemed to kill the time. He liked to do anything that would raise the swordsman's blood pressure. He wanted to show the idiot who was in charge here. He might have his black scowl and three swords, but Sanji had sex appeal and it seemed to be working just fine. Marimo could train as much as he liked and he'd still be helpless in the end.

Sanji leaned against the cool stone in the shade, eyes still lingering on Zoro's rippling stomach. He lit his spiced cigarette and smiled as the intoxicating smoke hit his lungs, it had been a fun week. He had touched the swordsman at every opportunity; just lingering fingers on his chest, his shoulders. He teased him, with caresses and breathy murmurs. He found himself somehow completely naked on at least one occasion, where Zoro was due for his mid-morning nap.

The cook would have gotten bored with it quickly, but Zoro just wouldn't react. Even when confronted with Sanji rolling in the grass wearing nothing but rose petals, he had just turned sharply away and thrown his shirt over his shoulder, demanding in a husky voice that he 'cover the hell up'. Despite the fact that he was clearly rampantly horny, brutishly strong and probably had no genitals, he still didn't bite. He just stood without moving and stared blankly at the blonde. Sanji couldn't believe it. Any normal person would just snap. Shout, scream, fight or at least ravish him a little bit! It just wasn't natural. Beyond the fact that he was horny, the cook knew nothing about him at all. His dark eyes gave up nothing. Even his movements were a mix of martial arts from many different islands. Luffy said that he was a famous bounty hunter. Luffy did say a hell of a lot of things, but Zoro certainly looked the part. The way he smiled when he drew his swords… it was a little intense.

He was also very hot. His skin was bronzed, his ass was spectacular and he had muscles you could crack nuts on. He seemed so rough and potently sexual. The way his eyes lingered over every part of the cook's body… Sanji had always been told that if you had your cock cut off then you'd get a high voice and not have a sex drive anymore. If that was true then he would have hated to see what Zoro was like before… he bit his lip and imagined the swordsman throwing him into the grass and tearing the scraps of silk from his needy body. Maybe when Marimo did finally snap, they could have some real fun. Aside from the fact that he was probably a eunuch...

The cook sighed, for a second he had almost tasted the fragrant dirt and felt Zoro's weight determindly pressing into him. He had to be a eunuch, though. Surely he would have said something otherwise! Sanji certainly wouldn't have kept silent if someone accused him of being a dick-less wonder. But this was Zoro. The man was a mystery.

The cook could still fantasise. And he could still run his fingers down Zoro's tanned bare chest whenever he saw him.

Sanji pushed lazily off the wall and strolled across to where Zoro was towelling off his shoulders. He put a little swagger in his walk and made sure the swordsman saw him coming. Today, the blonde was in silk. A pale blue open shirt and soft draping darker blue pants. He picked them for the way they floated in the sea breeze and clung to the lines of his figure.

Zoro ignored him and started picking up his swords and strapping them to his body. "Zoro." He said. The swordsman looked up as if he was thinking and then made to walk straight past him, back into the main garden. The cook raised one long leg and barred Zoro's path. "I said _Zoro_ deaf-head." He was met by two angry black eyes.

"What?"

Sanji raised his leg up, over Zoro's head, and placed it back on the soft grass. "You can't fake it forever, you know."

"Oh yes I fucking can." Zoro said slowly, looking straight ahead.

The cook grabbed Zoro's shirt and pulled him closer. The swordsman turned and looked him in the eyes. Sanji slowly walked his fingers up Zoro's chest and squeezed one tanned brown nipple. His other hand slid down Zoro's back until it rested on his ass. Sanji pulled their bodies closer together and whispered into the swordsman's ear, "You want to touch me, don't you?"

"No."

He could feel the power of Zoro's body… his muscles were so tense where the cook pressed against him. It was like he was physically holding himself back. Why wouldn't the bastard just admit he was defeated? He was so damn stubborn!

The cook brushed his lips against Zoro's throat, tasting the salt on his skin. Then he grazed his teeth against the bronzed flesh before biting softly down Zoro's neck to his collar bone. He could hear the swordsman's breathing become more deep and regular.

He still wouldn't give in.

"You want to fuck me, don't you?" Sanji whispered, his hands sliding Zoro's open shirt from his shoulders.

"Nope. I've got better things to do." Zoro smirked right in Sanji's face and raised a bored eyebrow at him. He was such a smug asshole! Zoro's smirk just got wider and wider and suddenly Sanji had a new strategy. Fuck it. There were more ways than one to show him who's boss.

"Shut up shitty swordsman!"

Sanji lifted his knee up between them and kicked Zoro's stomach, using the force of the kick he back flipped elegantly and landed on his feet. He tapped his toes into the grass and then wound up for a volley of kicks. Zoro looked baffled for a minute and then began to laugh. The asshole actually laughed!

One quick flip and the cook landed on his hands, wrists turning as his momentum carried him forward. Zoro jumped back, still grinning but Sanji was a little quicker. He flipped back onto his feet and pirouetted in a spinning kick, knocking the swordsman's legs out from under him. Zoro rolled back onto his feet in an instant. He turned to face Sanji again, still without drawing his swords.

Arrogant… stupid… pig headed… Sanji twisted his body into a long, low kick, waiting for the exact moment when Zoro would leap into the air. The swordsman stepped sideways then jumped to try to get behind Sanji mid spin, but the cook was already there. The swordsman deflected two strikes, missed the third and then took the full force of Sanji's whirling kick. The sharp crack of bone on bone rang out and a shock wave rolled out across the lawn. Zoro grunted with the force of the hit and touched his fingers to his cheek. He traced the thin river of blood to his chin and his face lit up with a wicked grin. Angry blue eyes met level black and for a second, Sanji's heavy breathing was the only sound before he turned again for another strike. He went low, swinging his hips into the kick and then sailed into the air hitting Zoro in the chest and then barrelling into him. The both hit the ground with a thump and then rolled a couple of times. When the dust finally settled, Sanji smirked down at the swordsman, "Not too shabby." He said. "That all you got?"

"I'm just comfortable." Zoro replied. He was wrapped up in Sanji's legs and the cook's ass was grinding into his hip. Not too shabby at all.

"Pervert." Sanji bit his lip as his eyes lingered on the swordsman's chest. His cheeks were flushed and he was not making any move to get up.

Zoro kept perfectly still. As long as he didn't do anything drastic then he wouldn't get in trouble. He wasn't about to stop Sanji though, his body was so lithe… It was just all creamy white skin and toned perfection. So strong and flexible that it was just sinful.

The cook's blue eyes hovered in front of Zoro's face, the movement grinding their hips together. "You want me to teach you how to wrestle?" He whispered.

Yes. Yes. Right now.

"No."

"Why not, still afraid you'd hurt me?" The cook scoffed.

Zoro could smell his sweat from the fight. He was still breathing fast himself, even though he had only been passively defending. The smell of smoke and testosterone was making the blood rush in his ears. This was the type of temptation he could never resist... Sanji was strong, surely one hit wouldn't hurt?

The swordsman tensed his legs and twisted skywards. He shed Sanji like a second skin and then drew one sword: Wadou. He swung the silver arc high and brought it down as he rushed forward. A foot knocked his wrist out and he turned with the blow, turning his momentum into a sweeping back handed strike. Rock hard shins met the force of the blade and deflected it, striking back. The swordsman dodged and another foot was inches from his face and then suddenly it was just metal on bone. He reacted without thinking, twisting and striking. The ache of his muscles, the smell of sweat, the feeling of the force erupting between them… It made him so _fucking hard_ that he ached.

Zoro knocked Sanji to the ground and felt his toned body wriggling to escape. He pinned Sanji to the grass and let his weight rest on the blonde's lithe frame. He didn't mean to say it, it just slipped out. In between the fighting, the force and the bare skin he just lost a little bit of focus.

"Still think I'm compensating?" the swordsman growled.

Sanji's eyes widened. He wriggled just a little more and confirmed the solid erection pressing into his thigh. _Not a eunuch. So. Not. A. Eunuch._ Sanji's insides ached as he felt the solid weight.

The cook's angry face finally melted into a grin. "Let's find out," he said.

Before Zoro knew it, he was on his back and his face was buried in sun kissed blonde hair. Hot wet lips trailed down his chest and a delicate tongue flicked his nipple. Sanji bucked his hips and ground them into Zoro's crotch. The swordsman moaned and grabbed a fistful of gold as the blonde head sunk further down. Skilled hands skirted across his stomach and hot kisses followed. Somehow his pants got undone, although he swore that Sanji's hands were on his chest the whole time. He lifted his frame onto his elbows to watch and moaned as a hand closed on his erection. Sanji's kisses became more fevered and he loosed the fabric from around Zoro's hips. The swordsman tilted the cook's chin up, "You think we should move, maybe?"

The cook's lips hovered… he was about one inch away from making sure Zoro didn't care where they were. He didn't want to miss the chance. He was skilled, it would only take a minute…

The sound of squealing cut through the hazy air. The squeals turned to indignant shrieks and Zoro let his head drop back into the grass. The lips which had been so expertly relieving him of all his sexual tension were gone, and the only thing he had to show for it was a raging erection which was now on display for the whole world to see.

Zoro did up his pants and then followed the Sanji shaped blur and the sound of girls screaming.

* * *

"Come on now Brooke, I told you. No pants," Zoro lectured. The musician was at it again. The swordsman had lost count of the number of girls he had terrified with his attentions. The ladies were all currently crowding behind Zoro looking timid and occasionally pointing at Brooke demanding that he be killed, buried, or generally gotten rid of.

"But I just want to see one pair of dainty little…"

"I'LL SHOW YOU THE PANTIES OF ANGELS YOU PERVERT!!!" Nami shouted as she waved her Clima Tact and storm clouds began to gather directly above the over-keen skeleton. Ok, so not all of them were timid. Lucky Perona wasn't here really...

Sanji hovered around the ladies trying to placate them, his expression was jumping wildly between outrage and comfort. He hadn't even stopped to put his shirt back on. Damn it, why did he have to be so hot?

Zoro sighed and hoped that Robin was somewhere nearby. "Brooke," he said, waving his hands in front of the man's bony skull. "You need to get another hobby." It was no use. He had spotted two of the girls stripping off as they headed through the trees to the pool. The static electricity was building in the air and Zoro stepped back from the fence and away from the menacing storm cloud. Brooke's afro began to frizz up, nearly doubling in size. When the ladies were out of view he finally snapped out of it… starting and looking up at the black cloud.

"THUNDERBOLT…"

"See you later then!" Brooke squeaked, "Though I'm a skeleton so I don't have any eeeeeeeeyyyeeeee..!"

"TEMPO!!!"

A massive bolt of lightning cleaved the air and his the sand with a deafening crack. Brooke scuttled across the square and ducked into an alley.

Lucky.

If he wasn't dead already, Zoro would certainly have had to kill him.


End file.
